My Story
How did I get here?
I couldn’t answer that question for myself, as I sat awkwardly in the squashy armchair, reading Calvin and Hobbs, waiting to meet my first counselor. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was raised in small-town America, where the churches outnumbered the restaurants and the protestant work ethic was stubbornly pushing us all to be better. My parents believed that a positive attitude and a regular prayer schedule were the best cure for the blues. They had never heard the phrase “mental health” before. I was taught that "normal" meant "okay." But I had realized that I didn't want to be "normal." I was just as confused and lost as the next fifteen-year-old. And I thought I had it all figured out. But in reality, something was missing that I couldn't figure out, and it was tearing me up inside. I wanted to reach out to someone, but didn't know how. I was terrified my parents wouldn't understand. All I knew was that I needed something. |
And so I found myself waiting for my first counselor.
A door opened. I looked up into the kind face of a stranger. “My name is Dwayne,” he said. “And you must be Felix. Would you like some tea before we start?” I couldn’t imagine talking about the crushing sensation weighing down my chest without spilling my tea. “No, thanks.”
I followed Dwayne down a hall and into a nice room full of books, plants, and pleasant artwork. My eyes fell on a framed poster with words over the front that hung neatly on the wall. It said:
“You do not have to be okay.”
“You can be however you are, and you will still be you. And if you decide to change who you are, the new you will be you as well. Only you can change yourself. Nobody can take that away.”
I took a deep breath, looked back at Dwayne, and spoke the first words of the rest of my life.
"I'm not okay."
And then things began to change. It was slow, and painful at times. Sometimes I was scared. But I discovered that, beneath all the doubt and the fear, I was someone worth being. I learned that I could be happy with myself and my life, and that I could live with integrity, honesty, and realness. I came to love the uncertainty of my life by appreciating the constancy of change and the value of each moment. The relationship between myself and my therapist taught me this.
Because Counseling is all about relationship.
Not romantic relationship, of course. Something different. Something more simple almost, more creative. My weeks in Dwayne's office taught me that happiness isn’t built on fancy insights or quick-fixes. It’s about the moments that are shared between people. Sometimes, healing is found in the relationships between family or friends. Other times, it’s found in the relationship between a therapist and client.
Ultimately, this is what led me to become a Counselor myself. More than anything, I find that people are doing their very best and are just searching for someone to be there with them through it all. They want answers, and support, sure. But even more than that? They're just tired of hurting and feeling so alone. And I feel really grateful to be a part of things becoming better in other people's lives. I know how much of a difference it makes when someone is there with you when things are changing.
There’s always the potential for something new.
Change, really, is what this work is all about. You can never go back to the ways things were. As you go through your life, you leave parts of yourself behind in the places you've been, difficult places that you've called home, that you've left, or that you've lost. But you can learn to heal and to move forward, to create a new and better life for yourself. And then, if you try to return to those places, you find that you've become somebody new, someone you like--someone you feel proud to be.
A door opened. I looked up into the kind face of a stranger. “My name is Dwayne,” he said. “And you must be Felix. Would you like some tea before we start?” I couldn’t imagine talking about the crushing sensation weighing down my chest without spilling my tea. “No, thanks.”
I followed Dwayne down a hall and into a nice room full of books, plants, and pleasant artwork. My eyes fell on a framed poster with words over the front that hung neatly on the wall. It said:
“You do not have to be okay.”
“You can be however you are, and you will still be you. And if you decide to change who you are, the new you will be you as well. Only you can change yourself. Nobody can take that away.”
I took a deep breath, looked back at Dwayne, and spoke the first words of the rest of my life.
"I'm not okay."
And then things began to change. It was slow, and painful at times. Sometimes I was scared. But I discovered that, beneath all the doubt and the fear, I was someone worth being. I learned that I could be happy with myself and my life, and that I could live with integrity, honesty, and realness. I came to love the uncertainty of my life by appreciating the constancy of change and the value of each moment. The relationship between myself and my therapist taught me this.
Because Counseling is all about relationship.
Not romantic relationship, of course. Something different. Something more simple almost, more creative. My weeks in Dwayne's office taught me that happiness isn’t built on fancy insights or quick-fixes. It’s about the moments that are shared between people. Sometimes, healing is found in the relationships between family or friends. Other times, it’s found in the relationship between a therapist and client.
Ultimately, this is what led me to become a Counselor myself. More than anything, I find that people are doing their very best and are just searching for someone to be there with them through it all. They want answers, and support, sure. But even more than that? They're just tired of hurting and feeling so alone. And I feel really grateful to be a part of things becoming better in other people's lives. I know how much of a difference it makes when someone is there with you when things are changing.
There’s always the potential for something new.
Change, really, is what this work is all about. You can never go back to the ways things were. As you go through your life, you leave parts of yourself behind in the places you've been, difficult places that you've called home, that you've left, or that you've lost. But you can learn to heal and to move forward, to create a new and better life for yourself. And then, if you try to return to those places, you find that you've become somebody new, someone you like--someone you feel proud to be.
My Qualifications & Competencies
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC), and I hold a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Naropa University. I have also earned a certificate in Complex Trauma and Dissociation from the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD). And I've been working as a therapist since 2015.
My therapeutic approach is integrative, which means that I have a variety of different types of training, and I work with each client to decide which approach(es) will be the best fit. Among others, approaches I often use include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy, EMDR, Play Therapy, and Parts Work (similar to Internal Family Systems, or IFS). And I have specific training and experience in working with complex trauma and dissociation, as well as work with the LGBTQIA+ community, the Autistic and ADHD communities, the Polyamorous and kink communities, the Pagan community, and the Plural community.
I work through an anti-racist, anti-oppressive, and a social justice-focused lens. I also have some experience in working with substance use and addiction issues, and in the inclusion of somatic-focused work in the counseling process.
My therapeutic approach is integrative, which means that I have a variety of different types of training, and I work with each client to decide which approach(es) will be the best fit. Among others, approaches I often use include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy, EMDR, Play Therapy, and Parts Work (similar to Internal Family Systems, or IFS). And I have specific training and experience in working with complex trauma and dissociation, as well as work with the LGBTQIA+ community, the Autistic and ADHD communities, the Polyamorous and kink communities, the Pagan community, and the Plural community.
I work through an anti-racist, anti-oppressive, and a social justice-focused lens. I also have some experience in working with substance use and addiction issues, and in the inclusion of somatic-focused work in the counseling process.